I've been going through a spiritual learning process.

Over the last few weeks I had computer problems and am only now back on line, with a  brand new motherboard!  (it's like a new computer  :-)

Not having the internet for the while has helped me focus spiritually without distraction. 

Also there were various other minor crises, which brought out by neurotic anxiety.

As it was Sri Aurobindo's bithday yesterday (15th August) the lasty few days especially I tried to tune into his presence.

More and more I am realising (and i hope that this realisation will be permament) how pointless intellectualism and egotism are.  And that there is no point trying to "want" something, because we are very small and helpless relative to the cosmos; by getting all worked up and wanting something one just gets caught up in affective being.  But by letting go, and flowintg with the Godhead, or the Tao, or whatever term you prefer, these thuings can happen automatically.  As The Mother says: it is in stillness that the power lies.  I don't have the exact quote, so that's not the wording, but it is about being quiet, quieting the mind and the vital (the affective being).
 
For example, there was a time when I posted a lot on the Aurobindo mail list, but now I just read (or glance over) what others say.  When it is necessary to say something, one says something.  But otherwise one should remain silent, and work on one's own sadhana (spiritual discipline)

I'm thinking also I should redisign my website a bit.  I had all this stuff on "integral" on it, and now I feel bored with "integral".  So I'm going to redistribute the Integral pages in otehr sections.  The "integral movement" may amount to something, but it is really just a subset of the New Paradigm.  I guess it was a phase in my life to get involved with it, and Ive made some fantastic friends I wouldn't have met otherwise.  But really I feel that the pure spiritual path of gnosis is better.  And if that can be used to transform the Integral movement, so much the better! 

I'm also reconsidering my writing plan.  I set myself a deadline to get my manuscript finished well before the end of 2007, but the intellectual stuff kept dragging on.  Also some people found the manuscript a bit hard to follow (although others liked it).  So I'm thinking now of first writing a less technical book on metaphysics; to be called The Story of Everything, to be followed up by the more detailed and academic thesis, Integral Metaphysics and Transformation (which emphasises the Aurobindonian definition , although with lots of other stuff too)

well no sooner was my computer up and running then i came down with a flu that is going round.  Fortunately was able to restrict it's severity with some good doses of garlic (a natural antibiotic, and far healthier for the body). 

These things make one appreciate and truly value good health, rather than take it for garnted as we usually do.

Anyway, while i was laid up i whiled away the time reading Mark Twain's Life on the Mississippi, a great book (very informative with lots of fantastic anecdotes) by a great man!

I'm still feeling spaced out and contemplative, so i haven't gotten back to work on my books yet, but i'm feeling pretty confident about finishing them.  It's just that it's so nice to be contemplative, and when I write too much i get into that mental state that is just all in the middle mental, with the mind always going on and on and not being able to sit still.  The trick (which i haven't yet mastered), is to write from a space of silence.

With the help of a friend i cleaned up a lot of the clutter in my room; it's amazing how the energy of the room (the feng shui so to speak) improves!

All in all, very happy about how things are going  :-)